What is the Lesson of Loss and Grief?
Is there a right or wrong way to deal with loss? Do some people “succeed” at grief where others fail?
From my experience I don’t think so. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. When you hear someone judge the way another person grieves, that is wrong. You really can’t prepare for loss. You can’t practice grieving. So, if one person cries publicly while another person prefers to grieve in private that is okay. The most important thing is that you feel the emotions of loss.
When you grieve you will go through many emotions. That is normal, you will learn from each emotion. If you don’t work through each emotion and you get stuck on one, that is unhealthy, but working through each you will grow in understanding of life and the big picture. Through your experience you will be a different person. What kind of person depends on how you react to your emotions.
You will feel sad from the loss of the thing (grief can go beyond a person or pet) you have lost. You will feel angry that you have lost. You may be angry at yourself, the person or thing you lost, God, the Universe. (It is okay to be angry but it is not good to stay angry.) You will feel empty and numb. You will feel at times joy. This may seem strange but death is a passage of a soul to another realm just as birth is a passage to this realm and we feel great joy at birth, right? You can also feel joy when you realize you are not alone in your grief. If you believe in God or a higher power open your heart and watch what will happen.
Grieving is about you. If you have lost a person or pet, they have went on to better place. They are not in pain anymore. Feel joy for them. I recommend you use your grief to discover yourself, use the grief to grow to understand others grief, to help others grieve.
In grief and loss we are all created equal. It doesn’t matter how much money you have or how successful you are, loss will bring you to your knees searching for answers. It can happen at any time or place and sometimes the cause of death can be remarkable and perplexing. You may never find the answers you seek but you must keep living.
From my own grief I have learned so much. I always believed and prayed to God but during the painful loss of my father I made connections with God that touched me and changed me forever. God showed me over and over again during that time that he was right there bringing me through it. I was so open to His love when I was on my knees I could see Angels, I could feel miracles bestowed upon me. I was accepting of everything He offered me. I had no doubts during the following year of anything I attempted because I knew God was working in my life.
As the healing began I became less accepting, I think. I am a changed person but I think some of the openness I had that first year after my dad’s death dissipated as I returned to the normal routine of life. I am now working to open myself up to God’s love and gifts without going through a loss. God is always here to give me His incredible love without me feeling pain or being at my lowest point.
I am thankful for my grief. Beyond what it taught me about myself, it helped me understand others’ feelings of loss. Sometimes there is nothing to say (and better to say nothing) but definitely acknowledging the loss with thoughts and prayers and a heart to listen. Let the mourner grieve their way.
You will come through your grief positively if you keep a positive attitude through it. Know in your heart that you are going to be okay no matter what because you are not alone!
Love and Peace!
Stumble it!
September 13th, 2007 at 7:22 am
Every experience offers new opportunities to learn, if you’re open to them. A satisfying world enables you to learn how to feel everything. Forgiveness is the key to understanding and moving away from pain. As you love others and forgive them for moving on when their time comes, you also forgive and love yourself in spite of distorting your perception. There is no right or wrong, no good or bad, until you decide that it is so.